Folding the Laundry: A Meditation on my Wife’s Birthday

Today is my beautiful wife’s, Stephanie Augusta Elliott’s, birthday. The more I think about her and all of her amazing qualities and virtues, I realize that I value her birthday infinitely more than mine. For, birthdays are a celebration of an individual’s life, and I would much rather celebrate my wife’s life than my own. For, God (and my family & friends for that matter) knows who I would be without her.

Stephanie is such an amazing wife, as she loves me despite my insecurities and downfalls, my lack of empathy, my occasional lapses in judgement, and even my hatred of folding laundry. She does not simply “suffer” through my problems, she calls them out and urges me to live in the grace of God. I manage my money better with her; I am more disciplined with her; I even wax the car now because of her. She has challenged me to “grow up” in so many ways. But, alas, folding the laundry still evades me, in all honesty, I don’t want to grow up in that area.

Continuing on, Stephanie is such a diligent worker. This year alone she finished her accelerated post-baccalaureate nursing program and graduated with her Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing, passed her NCLEX, and accepted a nursing job. She even did side cleaning jobs to make extra money to pay for our move across the country. Stephanie empathizes so effortlessly and is extremely caring. Steph and I were youth group leaders at our church this past year, and she constantly talked with her small group girls whenever and wherever she saw them. She had them over for spa nights, movie nights, cookie party nights. Stephanie legitimately invests in those with whom she is connected. Seeing her be this person, challenges me to equally be as diligent and empathetic. And, while Steph has her faults, as all humans do, no human has intimately shown me God’s grace more than her.

St. Clement of Alexandria once stated, “For with perfect propriety Scripture has said that woman is given by God as “an help” to man. It is evident, then, in my opinion, that she will charge herself with remedying, by good sense and persuasion, each of the annoyances that originate with her husband in domestic economy.” Perhaps it is just the editing and translating of Philip Schaff and Alexander Roberts, but I love that St. Clement uses the term annoyances. In marriage, men are given wives to refine our rough edges or as St. Clement puts it “annoyances.” Woman make men who they are. Women are the sanctifying tool of God for the life of mankind. Not only do they physically and literally give life to all of mankind, women metaphorically give life to mankind as they educate, develop, and refine mankind through marriage and motherhood. This is the true beauty of marriage as an institution; this is the beauty in which the triune God created man in his image, as specifically man & woman. Man is not truly man without woman.

All this to say, I am not fully who I am without you, Stephanie Augusta. Your Christ-centered love and righteous jealousy do not merely make me a better human, but rather they are the very dispensation of the triune God’s grace for my sanctification. I look forward to the many years ahead, to the children we will raise in God’s grace, and to the hope that one day I will enjoy folding the laundry.


“The marriage, then, that is consummated according to the word, is sanctified, if the union be under subjection to God, and be conducted “with a true heart, in full assurance of faith, having hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and the body washed with pure water, and holding the confession of hope; for He is faithful that promised.” And the happiness of marriage ought never to be estimated either by wealth or beauty, but by virtue.

St. Clement of Alexandria – Chapter XX: A Good Wife

St. Gregory of Nyssa on Divine Transcendence and Presence

“All the heavens can fit in the palm of God’s hand; the earth and the sea are measured in the hollow of His hand. And though He is so great that He can grasp all creation in his palm, you can wholly embrace Him; He dwells within you…saying: I will dwell in them, and walk among them.” [1]


A deep morning fog surrounded me as I read these words from St. Gregory of Nyssa’s Commentary on the Song of Solomon. How fitting it was that this deep fog surrounded me as I read these words, for the fog of nature provides a beautiful image that reflects God’s transcendence, which St. Gregory is expositing.

A thick layer of fog surrounds and encompasses everything within it’s borders. Those walking in the fog actually participate in that fog as they breathe in the air. God too is like this, for God encompasses everything with his presence, and man has the ability to participate and breathe in that very presence.

Often in the Scriptures God’s presence is described as a cloud. God leads the children of Israel as with a cloudy pillar by day,[2] and the Psalmist,[3] along with Job,[4] describe God’s presence as a thick cloud. A cloud represents an image of transcendence. It is visible, yet man cannot grasp it. It can be breathed in to one’s lungs, yet it cannot be held in one’s hands. God too is like this. God is visible, yet we cannot completely comprehend him. God is both attainable and unattainable, graspable and ungraspable, knowable yet incomprehensible.

It is interesting to note that in the Old Testament the cloud of God’s presence dwelt only on the physical tabernacle of the people of Israel. God’s presence and transcendence was only visible to those who worshipped at the tabernacle. But, something divine occurred in the incarnation. God’s presence filled a man, Jesus Christ. The Scriptures say that Christ was “a more perfect tabernacle not made with hands, that is, not of this creation.”[5] Christ contained the fullness of God’s presence, for He was God. Gregory states, “It is God, then, the Only Begotten, Who encompasses in Himself the entire universe, Who has built His own tabernacle among us.”[6]

The God-man, Christ, acting as the mediator to mankind did not keep the presence of God to Himself. Christ took on human nature as to give us the ability to partake in God’s life. The risen Christ poured out His Spirit to man, to those who believe in his work. [7]

In the Old Testament, the presence of God only dwelt in the tabernacle, and in the New Testament that is still true. Only now the children of God, the church, is that tabernacle.[8] Christ who is the Mediator of man, gave man his Spirit so man can participate in the act of mediation. God uses man to mediate his love to the world. The church is the visible presence of God on earth. It is as a fog covering the face of the earth, allowing the world to breathe in the presence of God. In the church, the world is to be refreshed, for in the individual members of the Church, God is present.

The question that Christians and the Church must ask when contemplating this thought is, “Am I refreshing? Do I correctly display the presence of God to the world around? Do I allow the world to participate in the love of God as I love others?

It is easy to be dismayed when one asks these questions. But, dismay is not the answer to these questions. St. Gregory’s theological thought on God’s transcendence and presence is itself the answer to this question. For, it is in the moment when redeemed man realizes that the transcendent God lives in his person that he is urged to be virtuous.

Therefore, dwell on this thought: The infinite, Trinitarian God rests in those who seek Him. God who is spirit and boundless has given man His very Spirit in our being. He who contains everything is contained in humanity. And, this is only possible through the man, Jesus Christ. Be like Christ. Be refreshing. Be virtuous. Be just. Be temperate. Be courageous. Be charitable. Be these things not to be a good human, rather, be these things because the God who is the very perfection of virtue exists in your person. Christ who is Justice, Temperance, Courage, and Love lives in you through his Spirit to the glory of the Father.

[1] St. Gregory of Nyssa. From Glory to Glory: Texts from Gregory of Nyssa’s Mystical Writings. Ed. Jean Daniélou. Trans. Herbert Musurillo. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary, 1979. Pp. 162.

[2] Exodus 13. New Revised Standard Version.

[3] Psalm 97:2

[4] Job 22:13-4

[5] Hebrews 9:11.

[6] Gregory, pp. 132.

[7] Titus 3:5-7.

[8] 2 Corinthians 4-5.