A THRONE IN DARKNESS: remembering my Father’s death after celebrating Easter

I remember Christ’s death on Good Friday, celebrate Christ’s resurrection with joy on Easter, then immediately go back to experiencing sorrow and pain by remembering my Father’s death. It is like reaching a beautiful mountain top only to have a storm roll in and quickly rush you off, having you descend in darkness and experience fear.

I’m sure this is how much of the world feels now during this current pandemic. Much of the world together remembered Christ’s death and then celebrated his resurrection this Easter Sunday only to wake up Monday morning to the Covid-19 storm clouds rolling in.

Yesterday was the twenty-second anniversary of my Father, John Francis Elliott’s, death. About every three or four years, the anniversary of my father’s death comes directly after Easter. These are always the strangest years to remember my dad and contemplate his death’s impact, because I follow this strangely depressing pattern. I remember Christ’s death on Good Friday, celebrate Christ’s resurrection with joy on Easter, then immediately go back to experiencing sorrow and pain by remembering my Father’s death. It is like reaching a beautiful mountain top only to have a storm roll in and quickly rush you off, having you descend in darkness and experience fear. 

I’m sure this is how much of the world feels now during this current pandemic. Much of the world together remembered Christ’s death and then celebrated his resurrection this Easter Sunday only to wake up Monday morning to the Covid-19 storm clouds rolling in. Cases are resurging in China and South Korea. The Stock Market is still volatile. United States unemployment is at an all time high since the Great Depression. The disease is still spreading with the death toll still rising.


Christ has risen but we are still isolated, anxious, and scared of the unknown. Those who do not believe in God, and even those who do believe in God are both asking the same questions: “where is Christ in this time of death and darkness?” 

The answer is that Christ is in the darkness with humanity. Christ is with us. 

The good news of the gospel is not that we have a God that draws near in our joy but remains distant in our suffering. No, the good news of the gospel is that we have a God that became completely human and drew near to us in our suffering, so much so that he died and entered the darkness with us. 

Where is Christ in this time of darkness? He is in the darkness. 

Peter Liethart wrote about this very truth in his essay, A Throne in the Grave. Leithart explains that in the sacrificial system of the Jewish people, the ark of the covenant symbolized the presence of God. The ark was covered in gold inside and out, and had two beautiful angels sitting on the top of it, and it was considered the throne of God. The ark resided in the holy of holies in the Jewish Temple, a room decorated beautifully, yet a room that no one could enter except for the high priest once a year. God’s presence lived with the people enthroned at the center of a beautiful temple. God’s throne was in glory. 

But, in Jesus’s incarnation, death, and resurrection the great inversion happens. God’s presence resides in a man, and that man dies. So, God’s presence resides in a tomb, in a grave, in darkness. When Jesus resurrects from the dead, two angels sit in his tomb, mirroring the ark of the covenant, symbolizing that the grave is now Christ’s throne. Our God is not a God that stays enthroned in beautiful glory, no, our God descends to make his throne in the darkness of humanity. God’s throne is the grave. Leithart writes, “Where in hell is the evidence of Easter? This is exactly the right question, and it answers itself. Any old god could put up a throne in a temple. The true God must reign also in the midst of hell, among the ruins, or he doesn’t reign at all. He is no living God if he isn’t the living One among the dead.” 

The beauty of the gospel is that Christ experienced ugliness. The power of the gospel is that Christ experienced weakness. The joy of the gospel is that Christ experienced sadness. The life of the gospel is that Christ experienced death. The light of the gospel is that Christ experienced darkness. So, where is Christ in this time of darkness? Where is God in this time of pain? He is sitting enthroned on the grave, he is sitting as a light in the darkness. For what good is a god to humanity if he stays enthroned in the heavens? Our God brings his light into our darkness. 

So, now, whenever I experience a year like this, when the anniversary of my father’s death is after Easter, I remember that the risen Christ is with me in the darkness. The victorious Christ does not stay enthroned in the heavens, he does not stay in the gold temple, he does not stay on the top of the mountain. No, the victorious Christ is with me in the pit of sadness. He is with me in darkness. He is with me in the storm. This is the good news of the gospel, this is the good news that we celebrate in Easter. 

And, Christ can be with you in this time of pandemic, in this time of crisis, and any time of crisis. Simply call to him in your sadness, call to him your pain, call to him in your anxiety, call to him in your darkness. For, the God of the universe who controls the sun, the stars, and the moon is sitting enthroned in your darkness. Draw close to Christ, for he is the eternal light of the world. 

*If you feel like you are looking for light in these dark times, or you want to know more about my dad’s death and how it affected me, or how Christ gives me practical and tangible hope, you can email me at peter@resurrectionchurch.com or comment below. I’d love to talk with you!

The Glory of the Gods

What if I told you I was a Greek god? What if I told you that people offered sacrifices of food and libations to me? Well, it is true. Let me explain.


In Greek mythology, gods were built temples in which human subjects would bring offerings of food, drink, and incense. Greek citizens would try and bribe the god into favoring them. Sailors and seamen would offer sacrifices to Poseidon for a safe voyage across the stormy Aegean. Infertile women would offer a sacrifice to Demeter or Aphrodite in the hopes of bringing the fruit of life to their barren wombs. Kings and generals alike would offer many sacrifices to Athena and Ares to have the arrows of their artillery and the swords of their hoplites guided into the hearts of their enemies. In ancient Greece, if one wished to succeed in what he did, he would sacrifice to the gods. The gods were thus utilized for success.


Greek deities were not good. They were and still are symbols of the fall. They were worshipped in fear and utility. They were ruled by their emotions and used their powers to serve and glorify themselves. Greek gods symbolize the misuse of creation. So, while it may have seemed narcissistic that I called myself a Greek god, it actually was my confession of pride, arrogance, and sinful nature.


Has anyone ever said to you, “I need your help,” or, “Without you I would have failed?”


Well, fellow students in my bachelor’s degree constantly told me this when I helped them in their academic endeavors. I though that they needed me, like the Greeks needed their gods. I was like Coeus, the titan god of intelligence. I dressed myself in knowledge, facts, and academics. I was a book reader, a contemplator, and a theologian. I researched in the library, reading Homer, Plato, Aristotle, Augustine, and Aquinas. I taught, tutored, and edited the works of many students.  Friends, acquaintances, and students I had never met, would ask me for help. I was offered sacrifices of food and drink. I was frequently given meals and coffee for my help. People told me, “I need you. I need your help. I will fail if you do not help me.” Oh! How I loved those words. Oh! How I my heart was pleased to hear those words and to receive those gifts. I built for myself a temple of knowledge, a temple in which I allowed my heart to commit adultery against its very Creator.


Have you ever experienced this?


Perhaps you are like Apollo, god of music, theatre, and poetry. You dress yourself in the arts. You parade around mastering musical instruments. Maybe you are a poet, a writer, or a lyricist. Are you a lover of the theatre? Do you sit under a favorite tree or in a favorite coffee shop and read Browning, Byron, Shelley, and Shakespeare? Whatever aspect of the arts with which you dress yourself, you are defined as an artist. Are you one to allow your passion to exude through your performances? Do you thrive on the crowds cheering? Do you long for people to tell you how good you are; how wonderful your performance was? Do you perform poetry, sing songs, act in plays to receive adoration, even if for a brief moment? But, Oh! How you cherish that moment; Oh! How you desire that moment of pleasure again and again. Maybe you have built a temple for yourself, where others come to praise you. Perhaps you are Apollo.


Perhaps you are like Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty, and eternal youth. You dress yourself with make-up, designer clothes, trending fashion, rich perfumes, and anything that could make you attractive, that could make you beautiful. Maybe you have a size zero waist, a beautiful smile, or even the hair of Aphrodite herself. Are you a lover of aesthetics? Do you sit at home fantasizing about wearing Burberry, Dolce & Gabanna, Versace, and Louis Vuitton? Or do you long for love? Do you long to be loved? Are you someone who dresses with garments of beauty in order to be loved? Do you long to hear people tell you how pretty, gorgeous, or stunning you are? When you hear these words, do you feel loved? Oh! How loved you feel, when someone adores your beauty. Oh! How divine you feel, when your beauty is desired. Maybe you have built a temple for yourself, where others come to adore your aesthetic beauty. Perhaps you are Aphrodite.


Perhaps you are like Ares, god of physical strength and war. You dress yourself with workout regiments, dietary restrictions, and muscle. Maybe you are at maximal physical strength. You are the best at sports, a born leader on the field; your teammates follow you as the Greeks followed Odysseus into battle against the Trojans. Are you a lover of physical physique? Do you always need to be stronger? Do you long for the cheers of others when you reach a new level of strength or when you excel in sports? When you hear those words, do you feel accomplished, strong, and powerful? Oh! How mighty you feel when others look to you as a strong man. Maybe you have built a temple for yourself, where others come to praise your strength, agility, and skill. Perhaps you are Ares.


Mankind imitates so many other Greek deities. Hades, the god of the underworld and wealth, was known to seek and accumulate riches. Hermes, the god of travel, commerce, and trade, mastered his occupation and helped others in their economic endeavors. Hera, the god of marriage, blessed new marriages and united spouses. All of these idolatrous deities represent specific idols in our life. Idols are created objects which mankind uses in self-gratification and self-glorification as a means to bring himself control over his life. Mankind’s sinful nature wants freedom from God, and wants to become itself a god. We desire to glorify ourselves, and in our self-glorification we deny any possibility to love and glorify our Creator.


Being a Greek deity is quite exciting, but that which is exciting is not always right. I realized that my deification of self came from the pride I found in my knowledge. Humanity is prone to this. Man seeks life in creation and not in the Creator. Man seeks fame, fortune, popularity through knowledge, athletics, business, artistry, and much more. This is the great temptation in life: to take that which God gives us to steward (creation) and use it for personal gain and self-gratification. It is to deny true deity, God, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God cannot be glorified by one who loves and seeks creation as its own end, but sadly all humans are prone to do this. It is the temptation of the forbidden fruit. Take creation and use it to attain deity. It is quite ironic, though, for in using creation to attain deity, we forfeit any chance of becoming one with God. It is ironic because, in my pursuit of knowledge, I lost the true knowledge of God. Knowledge of God (theology) became an object to me. I saw it as a means to the end of glory, fame, and popularity. I became as the vain preachers in Philippians 1:15-16, who preached the knowledge of the gospel, “from envy and strife…from selfish ambition and not sincerely.”


I would like to clarify that music, the arts, fashion, exercise, beauty, strength, knowledge, money, and the many other created objects, which I stated were a means of self-glorification, are not inherently evil. Again, idols would not exist apart from humanity’s fall. And, if idols are objects, which God created and called good, then it is humanity’s fallen nature that is inherently evil. Man in his sin takes creation, that which God created good, and uses it to its own advantage and glorification. When God created the world it was good. Creation in itself is not evil; man uses it for evil. But, man can also use it for good. Creation is at our disposal, and, through the power of the Spirit, man is once again given the ability to use the objects that once enslaved him as channels of adoration to his Creator. Man seeks and serves God with creation through the love of God mediated in the work of Christ by the power of the Spirit.


And, this is the lesson I come back to time after time. Loving God is the cornerstone of all right action. The only thing that separates us from the natural tendency to love and worship ourselves as divine deities is God’s love for us. God has given us his word, his table, and his church as created objects which draw us into his love, through his love, and by his love. Thirst for these! Hunger for these! Be as a deer panting for water. Pray for God to be your sustenance. Do not be as the Greek deities, who take from creation for power and life; Scripture tells us to love the Creator and in his Son find power and life. Jesus is the very image of God to humanity, fully God and fully man, mediator of true life and our new nature. Jesus is not an idol, but God himself. He destroyed sin, death, all idols, and even the devil. Idols no longer control us, and our selfish desires have no power over us as long as mankind loves and seeks the Creator God through the Savior, Jesus Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit. Love God; seek Christ.

The Paradox of Death

A child of five years I was

Sitting, waiting, confused.

People whispering in hushed tones;

People crying with sorrowful mourns.


“Where’s mommy?” I asked.

No response.

No one wanted to answer. 

No one did answer.


A child of five I was;

Lifted up, looking at, and wondering why

Everyone was watching daddy sleep.


“Why is daddy sleeping?” I asked.

No response.

I touched his face;

I kissed his cheek.

He was cold.


“Why is daddy cold?” I asked.

Finally, a response:

My mother’s eyes flowing with tears,

“Daddy’s not sleeping, Peter.”


I didn’t understand;

I couldn’t understand

What was happening.


A man of twenty-two years I am

Sitting, thinking, contemplating.

I think to myself;

I cry.


“Where’s God?” I ask.

No response.


A man of twenty-two years I am;

Looking up, crying out, and wondering why

Good men die young,

Why evil men live long.


“Why is my dad dead?” I ask.

No response.

I see his face;

I hear his voice,

But he is gone.


“Why is my father, a good man, dead?” I cry.

Finally, a response:

God’s hand wiping my tears away,

“Your dad’s not dead, Peter.

He’s only sleeping.”


I understand what has happened,

It is the paradox of death:

They are not sleeping; they are dead.

They are not dead; they are sleeping.


In loving memory of John Francis Elliott, beloved husband, father, and brother. I miss you Dad.